? (zqfmbg) wrote,

I think I've forgotten how to meet new people and how to keep the existing friendships I have. Ignoring my coworkers and Robin, around here, I can only think of one or two people I consider direct friends that I've seen in the last few months. I know it seems like whining, since a lot of the time, I'm perfectly happy to stay in and be left to my own devices, but occasionally, I wonder what happened. It seems to me that most of the relationships I've had with others have basically rotted.

I think I would like to get out of this rut, at least a little. But I don't know how to do that. Even the thought of spending a single evening a week out seems like too much. Some things never change; a few years ago, I was caught between these two, and I still continue to be. At least I'm more productive when I'm at home now, though. (Perhaps that has something to do with it.)

And even when I'm around people, it's hard to find an interest in them, so it still seems pointless, especially when I don't know them that well and nothing sticks as a result. So what do I really want, anyway? I don't know.
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